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About Us

Acting out sexually almost cost me my marriage.  It started out innocent while looking at the swimsuit edition of Sports Illustrated, but we all know that magazine is not about swimsuits.  It’s about the objectification of women and lust.  Once I was desensitized, it was an easy step to softcore and then to hardcore pornography.  On the inside, I was an angry, lustful, objectifying jerk, but, on the outside, I was still the good, wholesome, choir boy.  All the lies and anger finally overtook me, and my wife of twenty-seven years could not live with my disrespectful, angry, victim way of being and the liar that I had become.  I was forced to make a choice that a lot of addicts must come to grips with at some point in their life.  Do I continue my destructive behavior, or do I make a change that will affect all involved in a positive manner?

First, I started reading Take Your Life Back.  This book, and others like it, may be found at newlife.com.  The book showed me that reactive living is not living at all, but I needed more.  Next, I found a counselor that specialized in treating sexual addiction, also through newlife.com.  My counselor pushed me to open up about past hurts and wounds that I thought were healed and helped me to see the man that God had intended me to be.  He put me in touch with a support group called Men In the Battle and introduced me to the concept of having a “Peter, James and John”.  Numerous times in the Gospels, Jesus leaves the larger group and takes Peter, James and John with him away from the crowd.  So, I realized I can use that same concept in my life, having three confidants that I may lean on in times of temptation and trial.  During my time with my counselor and Men In the Battle, I was also introduced to an author named John Eldredge, and read a couple of his books.  All these resources are on the Resources page of this site.  Third, I was invited to attend a coaching conference that was very transformational.  It reinforced all that I had been learning and created a world of greater possibilities.  Now, I am a Compassionate, Vulnerable, Trusting man, a man of action, a man of possibilities, and a man of unexpectedness.  Finally, I put God at the center of my life.  With His help, this man of action and possibilities has experienced a major change in the person that I have become, how I feel, and how I am present in everyday life.  With the Holy Spirit as my guide, I am now leading from my heart.  There is a freedom that I have never felt before in being able to hold my head high because I am no longer objectifying women, but able to show my wife that she matters and that I have the utmost respect for her.  Freedom is not free.  It takes hard work.

If you are looking to help someone that is in their beginning stages of recovery or if you are looking for healing and need a community where you feel like you will find some answers, this site has been built for you.  This is a safe place for like-minded individuals to exchange ideas and discuss what has worked for them in their journey to freedom.  Our sexually acting out has caused pain and shame in ourselves and others.  Please join the community and start your healing journey today. 

Freedom isn’t free, it takes hard work!